Andromeda, Mass Effect: Need
by HotMezoti
Summary: Ugh - I wrote and published this story and immediately regretted it. Should have deleted Chp. 4 a while ago - yes, unfortunately, I wrote it the whole thing, and I felt it cheapened all my other writings. Leaving the first chapters out there as is for now - I may revisit, but a recent negative review confirmed what I felt - it really was awful.
1. Chapter 1

Ryder tilted her glass and watched the ice slosh back and forth. She sighed, looking across the room at Kralla's song.

"You seem – lonely, no?" Reyes cocked his head to the side.

She frowned at him, "No, Reyes."

He laughed, "Not for me, you've made that clear. Just an observation." He turned in the direction of her gaze, seeing Jaal sitting at a table with Peebee, deep in conversation. He tapped his hand on the table, "I may be able to help you." He brought up his omni-tool and sent her a message. "There's a little known, shall we say, service, here on Kadara. It's for people who need to be discreet. It can be difficult for people in certain positions to meet someone. Or, maybe they need to keep their lives private for whatever reason."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "What are you talking about? Like a dating service?"

"Um, no. Not exactly. Sort of meeting others with mutually agreed upon needs to spend time together."

"Oh, I got you. No way."

He rolled his eyes, "This is not your typical Omega hotel set-up. It's high-class, and invitation only."

She leaned across the table towards him, "So that I enter the room and you're there waiting in bed with a rose in your mouth waiting for me?"

Angry, he pulled back, "Look Sara, I'm offering you something as a friend, to help you out. You've done a lot for me, and I could repay you in some way."

She looked contrite.

He leaned in towards her, "I can see things aren't working out for you the way you would like," he looked towards Jaal, laughing now with Peebee across the room. "I can see the loneliness and sadness in your eyes. Sometimes, we just want to be with someone, even for a short time, you know?"

She nodded, "Okay, I'm sorry." She took a deep breath, "Tell me more about it."

"You use a code name, all anonymous. Submit your preferences, and if you get someone interested, make an arrangement. The location is in the message I sent you, along with the main site."

"How safe is it?"

"Very, and very confidential."

"Have you used it?" she looked at him.

"Yes, I have. A few times. I wouldn't recommend it if I thought it would compromise you in any way."

"And Sloane Kelly?"

He smirked, "Believe it or not, she knows nothing about it."

She leaned back and leaned her elbow on the top of her chair, "You run it, don't you."

He smiled.

"Now I get it. So how much?"

"Ha, for you – free. And don't worry about vid or anything. If information leaked out, it would be shut down. There would be a lot of unhappy people, and I don't want unhappy people. Bad for business."

She ran her fingers through her hair, "Uhhh, I don't know."

"Think about it. And – it's open to all species."

She raised an eyebrow. That made it more appealing. "I'll check it out. And – thanks Reyes."

"Don't mention it. And – don't mention it to anyone else."

"Don't worry." She finished off her drink.

Late that night, back in her room alone on the Tempest, she felt the weight of the silence and emptiness. She had been crushed with disappointment that Jaal was not interested in her. She watched as an outsider as Peebee flirted with him, and entranced him with her loud, bubbliness and endless touching. Sure, he liked Ryder too, but wherever Peebee lead, he followed. It surprised and saddened her. She'd thought for sure he would see through her shallowness, but so far they'd only gotten closer.

She pulled up Reyes' message and looked it over. She hesitated, but finally decided to give it a try. She didn't have to go through with it, right?

She entered her information, encoded and encrypted. She spent more time thinking of a code name. She finally decided on Jane. Simple, and generic. She put in her preference – Turian. It was a long shot, but you never know. She'd never really had a satisfying relationship with a human, and a long time ago had started dating Turians. She kept it a secret from her dad. She'd confided in her brother, Scott, and he'd helped her keep it quiet. She laughed, thinking now how afraid she'd been that he'd find out. It seemed so trivial and ridiculous that as a grown woman she'd been intimidated by her dad's opinion.

She finished and sent it off, and got ready for bed. They had more to do on Kadara tomorrow, and she wanted to get an early start. As she changed her clothes and put her sleep shirt on, her omni-tool went off. She checked it – a message with Reyes' name attached. She opened it with a required corneal scan. Someone had responded to her inquiry. She felt excited, but hesitant at the same time. She read the message. Simple, to the point. A Turian male was interested in meeting her. Reyes had added a message at the end, stating this was a verified member who she could trust. She leaned back on the couch, contemplating what she should do. There were plenty of places like this not just on Omega, but on other planets in the Milky way, and the Citadel too. She'd never been to one, but knew it was not an uncommon practice for busy professionals, people who travel a lot, and don't have time to form relationships. High ranking people politicians used it frequently, as dating around wasn't an option.

"I guess that's me too now that I'm the Pathfinder." She thought about Jaal, her frustration and decided to go for it. She pressed send.

She shut her omni-tool off and went to bed. The next morning, she checked and was disappointed to see no response. "Hm." She tried to push it out of her mind as she took a shower and got ready for the day. She went to the kitchen and rummaged around, when Vetra came in, looking for something herself.

"Have a good time last night?" Vetra asked.

"Um, it was okay." Ryder replied.

"I saw you with Reyes at the bar."

"Yeah, just friends, totally." She emphasized with her hand.

"That's good. I was about to warn you about him."

"No – I had his number from the start. We have a sort of friendship going, but nothing more."

Vetra nodded.

Jaal came in, opening the cabinet and taking out some nutrient paste.

"Have a good time last night?" Vetra asked him the same question.

Ryder refused to look up at him, sickened by the thought of him and Peebee together. _What does he see in her?_ She thought.

Jaal licked the paste off the spoon, "I had an okay time."

Vetra laughed, "That's what Ryder said."

"Really? Well. I do not like Kadara as much as other people do." He looked down and kept eating. Jaal thought back to Peebee talking to everyone and anyone in Kralla's song, getting drunk and passing out on the street.

Vetra raised an eyebrow plate at Ryder, who then finally looked over at Jaal who was quietly eating. Her omni-tool pinged and she saw a message had popped up – a response back. She felt a little nervous as she read it. He was definitely interested, wanted to set something up that day. She had a small mission in Kadara port, some supplies to replenish, that was it. "What would you guys think about having shore leave today until tomorrow morning?" she looked up at both of them.

"Sure, sounds good." Vetra nodded.

"I don't see why not. We are waiting for more intel before we can proceed to the next mission anyway." Jaal replied.

"Great. I'll send the crew a message." She smiled at them and grabbed her meal. She walked briskly back to her room to look more closely at the message. A few times were offered and she chose one for later that afternoon. She quickly got a confirmation.

She tried to go about her business on Kadara that morning, a dozen times going to cancel, but always stopping herself, because dammit, she really missed having someone's arms around her, and she deserved to feel that.

At the agreed upon time, she made her way to the navpoint, and was shocked to see a hidden entrance to a secured, very nice, very small building with a few rooms in it. A corneal scan opened a door and she took a deep breath and entered the room. She looked around, and initially thought she was alone, but movement from the darkened corner made her back up slightly.

"Jane?" a deep Turian voice asked.

She gulped. "Yes. Um, Kalen?" she remembered from the message.

He walked slowly forward. "I am for today."

She smiled. "I've never actually done anything like this before." She nervously put her hair behind her ear.

He chuckled, "I can tell." He got closer and crossed his arms in front of him. "You are very beautiful."

She rolled her eyes. He laughed, "No, seriously. You really are."

She bit her lip and got a closer look at him. He was good looking, and in shape. She liked that. Maybe this would work out.

He walked around to the couch in small room, "Would you like to have a seat?"

She nodded and sat down as he sat next to her. He started, "If you are uncomfortable, we don't have to do anything, we can just talk, spend time together. I won't lie, I'll be disappointed, but I would enjoy any time you would like to give me."

She heard a little sound in his voice that was familiar. That yearning for companionship, that ache she felt every day. She reached out and lightly ran her fingertip over his silver leathery skin on the back of his hand. "I'm getting more comfortable. I miss – this, to be honest."

His expression softened. "I do to. I have to tell you, I was very excited when I saw your request. I've had that out for a long time, and no one's ever answered it. There are few human females who want to be with Turians, and in Andromeda you're the first one I've found."

She was surprised, "Really?"

He nodded. "Have – have you been with a Turian before?"

"Yes, a few, well. Quite a few. I had a longer term, serious relationship with one, but it was over before I left for Andromeda. What about you?"

He leaned back and sighed, "I usually don't talk too much about myself, security and all. I will say I had a human girlfriend, but at the last minute she backed out of coming to Andromeda. It was a huge disappointment." He turned to her and smiled. "I'm glad you're here."

"Me too."


	2. Chapter 2

Kalen got up excitedly and went to the small bar area. "Would you like a drink."

"Sure, I'd love one."

He opened a bottle and poured it, "There's a great selection of Turian and human liquor here." He reached in for another bottle, "Any preference?"

She shook her head, "Anything would be fine, actually."

He picked one out and poured a glass, handing it to her. He selected another one for himself, and took a long drink, looking down at the glass, he marveled, "That is really good." He pointed at her, "You must be some sort of VIP."

She took a sip, her drink was good as well. "Why do you say that?"

He gestured towards the bar, "It's well stocked, and free. That never happens."

"Well, let's just say I have friends in high places." She took a larger sip.

"Don't we all."

He was intrigued, and tempted to ask her more, but he refrained, knowing he would be unable to answer any questions back. He sat down and took in the sight of her. She was attractive and his type, which was a happy surprise. She had long dark hair, dark eyes, pleasing features. Her skin was smooth, very smooth. He'd missed being able to do this, sit and talk with a human female. He reached over and took a stray tendril of her soft hair in his fingertips, sliding it between his fingers. "I love the feel of that."

She leaned back and took her ponytail loose, shaking her head and letting her hair fall long past her shoulders. "Wow, that's really pretty." He ran his hand through the ends of it.

She smiled over at him. This was nice, she was glad she'd come. To have someone compliment you, enjoy spending time with you, it was a welcome change. She scooted a little closer to him. "How much time do we have here?"

He continued stroking her hair, "As much time as we want, up to 24 hours."

"Oh, that's great. I can stay until tomorrow morning." She grinned.

He enjoyed her eagerness and sweet demeanor. "I am looking forward to it." He hesitated, "You – said in your message that you were interested in intimacy, is that still the case?"

"Yes, definitely."

He looked elated, "Great. I'm not trying to make things awkward, but I wanted to be clear on what you are comfortable with. Let me get you another drink." He took her glass and refilled it. She stood up and took it, smiling at him over the top of her glass. He was watching her closely, the air between them becoming thicker with anticipation. She turned and walked around the room, taking it in. It was simply, but surprisingly tastefully decorated. There was a window, and she pulled the curtain back to look out.

"Wow," she was surprised to see the expanse of Kadara.

She sensed his nearness and felt his hands snake around the front of her waist. He held her to him as he looked over her shoulder. "Nice view." He said.

"Um hm." She leaned her head back against him and put her hands over his, pressing closer to him.

He leaned his head down and lightly pressed his lips to her neck. She shivered at the sensation, closing her eyes tightly. He took her scent in deeply and wrapped his arms more tightly around her waist.

"That feels so good," she murmured.

"Mmm, yes it does," he continued to place light kisses up and down her neck as she let out a little gasp and sank against him. He turned her around and cupped her face, leaning down to kiss her softly. She moaned and opened her mouth to let her tongue explore. He had definitely had experience with humans, as he'd said. He thrust his tongue in her mouth and held her by the waist tightly against him. She felt warm waves wash over her as she grabbed onto his carapace to steady herself and allowed herself to drown in his passion for her. He pulled back, "Your taste, I love it."

"I can't wait to see what's under those clothes," she said.

He chuckled, "Really?"

She turned beet red, she couldn't believe she'd said something so cheesy out loud. She slapped her hand to her head, "I, well, yeah."

He smiled, "You are very sweet. I like that." He started unsnapping the straps on his shirt.

She sat on a chair and pulled her shoes off, then stood and wriggled her pants down. He walked up to her and started unzipping her jacket, pulling it down her arms and on the floor. He held his hands lightly on her shoulders and ran them down her arms, relishing in the feel of her soft flesh. She reached up and lightly touched his chest, moving her small strong fingers in his grooves.

"I'm sorry, are you cold?" he looked at her with concern.

She realized she was trembling, "No, just excited." She moved closer to him and hugged him tightly. She sighed heavily, "It's been a while, and I've been having a tough time."

"I know what you mean." He stroked her hair and held her head against his chest.

She reached into the waistband of his pants and tugged slightly, "Why don't you take these off too?"

He obliged as she pulled her tank top off and struggled with the back of her bra. He reached around and deftly unhooked it. As she wriggled out of it, he removed his shoes and finished getting out of his pants. She hesitated as they stood naked across from each other. "Wow," he said, taking her in. She was muscular, but feminine, he couldn't wait to get inside her.

He reached out for her hand and led her over to the bed. She felt a mix of excitement and trepidation. _This is probably not a good idea._ But she was not going to stop. They sat next to each other on the side of the bed. "You're trembling again," he said softly.

"I'm nervous, I can't help it."

"If you're having second thoughts, we will stop." He let go of her hand and looked at her intently. "Really."

She shook her head, and to her chagrin, started tearing up. She said vehemently, "No, it's not that, I'm sorry," she laughed a little, "I guess I'm just finally letting myself feel." She wiped a tear away and smiled at his concerned face, "I've been through a lot recently, a lot."

He put a comforting hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry."

She put her hand over his, "Being here with you, I don't know, it sounds strange, but I feel like I can finally relax, and I'm enjoying being with you." She looked up at him, "You're really hot."

He laughed. She charmed him with her vulnerability. "I'm glad you think so."

"I do. You are very muscular," she reached up and squeezed his arms, "I like that."

He leaned in and gave her a strong hug. She was stiff at first, but started to relax and her breathing slowed. He started to tell her they could just lay down and talk for a while when he felt her hand trail down his thigh towards his groin. He took in a sharp breath as he felt her rub her fingers on his crotch plates. She scooted a little closer to him and wrapped her leg around his back. He let out a low growl as she started rubbing her crotch on his and snaking her hand up into his fringe, pulling lightly. Her lips found his mouth and he returned her kiss eagerly. Moving back and forth on him and pushing her chest up against him, she could feel herself getting wet. She smiled under his kiss, "I'm so wet for you," she said softly. He growled and grabbed her shoulders, turning her on her back on the bed.

"Let me scoot up higher," she said, pulling up from underneath him. He crawled up closer to her until he was straddling over her. She was breathing heavily, fumbling for him, desperate to feel his skin next to hers. Her eyes were dark and she grabbed his shoulders, trying to pull him down on top of her. He started to lean down, then suddenly pulled away.

"Lotion-" he crawled across the bed and took a bottle off the nightstand. He knelt above her, squeezing it into his hand and rubbing them together. She panted, legs spread apart, feeling heat and ache that only him completely filling her would abate. As he carefully rubbed lotion on her inner thighs, she focused on the head of his penis, already emerging from its protective plates. Finished putting the protective lotion on her, he wiped the residue on the sheets and grinned as he propped himself up.

"Fuck, yeah," she blurted out as she wrapped her legs around his, pulling him down.

He was about to warn her to go slow, until he felt her small warm fingers reach down around his shaft, rubbing up and down, squeezing at the base. "God, yes, that's what I want," she said. He arched his back and let out a low growl, then pushed her hand away, positioning his pointed tip at her opening. He rubbed her a few times up and down, and smiled as he felt wetness at her folds. She writhed underneath him. She knew it was probably a better idea for more foreplay, but she was so desperate for it, she wasn't going to wait. "Uh, I need you so bad, don't wait." Her eyes pleaded with him, and he entered her a small amount, planning to move just a little bit to start, but she arched her back off the bed and pulled herself towards him, moaning loudly with pleasure.

"Spirits," he sputtered out, watching the shy, vulnerable woman he'd just been comforting turn into a sexual animal. Every moan, every gasp of pleasure she made goaded him into wanting to make her be louder. He pistoned back and forth, feeling she was ready, and with a more few thrusts was completely inside her. She yelled out, and grabbed his arms, yelling, "Yes, yes, yes," with every movement he made.

She felt the most alive she'd been since she came to Andromeda. Every sense was on fire, and she loved it. She started moving faster and faster, going harder on him. All thoughts were pushed out of her mind, and she could feel the wave start, "Here we go," was all she could get out, and he caught her meaning as he kept himself in her deep. One deeper thrust, his talons tangled up in her hair, his hot breath on her shoulder, and she screamed out as she felt her muscles spasm, clamping down on him in orgasm. "Oh, ohhh," she couldn't stop as she pulled her head off the bed as all her abdominal muscles tightened in response. She felt him jerk a few times, then growl and gasp loudly with his own release. "God damn!" she yelled out, feeling him enlarge inside her even more as he ejaculated. Her eyes were wide as she looked at him in surprise. How much larger could he possibly get? His eyes were tightly shut, his mouth parted, barely making a noise. Her orgasm continued and she let out little grunts as she felt her muscles pulling and squeezing on him as he was getting softer inside her. He lay down on top of her as her orgasm slowed, and she patted his back, feeling the soft scales on his carapace.

"I-" he couldn't say anymore.

She laughed, "Oh wow, that was so amazing. You felt so good." She kissed his shoulder and down the top of his arm, then starting to bite ever so softly on him. He groaned in soft pleasure and she smiled, placing a harder bite on him.

"Oh, yessss," he hissed. He turned and looked at her, as she smiled angelically up at him. He leaned down and kissed her. She returned his kiss, gently this time. He started slowly pulling out of her and she concentrated on relaxing until he was completely out. He jumped up and went to the bathroom, returning with a towel for her. "I'm afraid it's been a while, there's a lot," he apologized, wiping her clean. She laughed, "Don't worry about it."

She reached over and stroked his arm as he lay down next to her, pulling her closely to him. "Being inside you was magical. I'll be dreaming of that for weeks." He sighed. She felt contented, and smiled widely, with a deep breath.


	3. Chapter 3

They lay like that for a while, Ryder feeling the impetus to talk, but realizing the whole idea was to remain anonymous. Reading her mind, Kalen sat up and said, "Do you want to watch a vid?"

"Sure," she answered.

He pulled up his omni-tool and turned it on, getting her input on what she liked. She pulled the sheets around her and cuddled up on his chest as they watched. He stroked her hair and she hugged him, feeling blissful. After a while, he asked her if she wanted something to eat.

"Yeah, I'm a bit hungry."

"The cold storage is fully stocked, I checked it out when I first got here. We can eat, then maybe when the vid is over, we can have some more fun together."

She grinned, "That sounds like a great idea."

He stood up, "You'll see I'm full of great ideas."

She sat up and pulled her knees towards her, "Oh yeah?"

He walked naked over to the cold storage, "With you, most definitely."

She blushed a little, and started to reply when Kalen's omni-tool went off. He pulled it up and frowned, "I apologize, I have to take this." he quickly walked in the bathroom and shut the door.

She turned her attention back to the vid, and after a few minutes, Kalen came out, looking serious. "I'm sorry, I have to leave."

"What?"

He started collecting his clothes, "I don't have a choice, it's work. This rarely happens, but –" he shook his head and started getting dressed.

She put her face down on her knees, then looked up at him, nodding, "I understand."

Snapping his pants, he replied, "No, I don't think you do." He knelt on the side of the bed and reached out for her, putting his hand on the side of her neck, "I cannot describe how utterly disappointed I am right now." He sighed loudly, "I just hope we can reconnect sometime soon. I'm not based here on Kadara, but I come out here frequently."

"Same for me and I feel the same way. I really enjoyed being here with you."

He smiled, "You have brought back some great memories for me." He got off the bed and pulled on his shirt, "Plus you're fantastic in bed."

She laughed, "Thank you."

As he sat to put on his shoes, he gestured around the room, "It's yours for the night, please stay and eat and relax, just getting away from whatever responsibilities you have."

"Yes, that is appealing, but not as appealing as you are," she leaned her head sideways on her knees and looked at him, a slight pout on her lips.

He finished the clamp on his shoe and got in bed next to her, drawing her into a long, deep kiss. "Please stop, you are tempting me beyond what I should do."

She ran her hand up his fringe and gave it a tug, "Well, that just leaves us something to look forward to for the next time."

He held his eyes shut tight and then opened them with a large sigh, pulling her hands away from him, "Thanks for a wonderful time, Jane."

She was puzzled for a moment, then remembered her pseudonym. "Mm-hm. Thank you too." She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss. He stood up and put his jacket on, lingering at the door. She watched as his mandibles flickered ever so slightly. She could see him wavering. "Kalen, you'd better go. I'll message you next time I'm here."

"And I'll do the same." He turned quickly and left.

She lay back on the bed, feeling unhappy at the turn of events, then thought back to the mind-blowing sex and how awesome she felt. "Focus on the positive." Plus he'd said he wanted to see her again, and he'd obviously enjoyed it too. She got up and got something to eat, then watched another vid. She considered going back to the Tempest, then decided there was no real reason to go back early. Like he'd said, she might as well have a mini-vacation and enjoy her shore leave.

In the morning she made her way back to the Tempest, smiling and relaxed. Lost in thought, she gave herself credit for taking the chance to go. She'd been suspicious of Reyes' offer, but turned out he had been sincere. Walking back on the Tempest, she checked her omni-tool and read a short message from Reyes, checking in on her and if everything had gone well. She messaged him back that she'd had a great time, and she appreciated him offering her a place in his service.

"Ryder, for you, anytime. You are a VIP, and will be treated as such." He wrote.

She met with Kallo on the bridge. Most of the crew was back, but not all, as shore leave was not officially over for another few hours.

"Did you enjoy your shore leave, Ryder?" Suvi asked.

She smiled, "Yes, very much. I think it's something we all need to keep our sanity, don't you?"

"Definitely," Suvi answered in her Scottish brogue.

"You've got new email messages." Kallo said.

She checked the console. A few messages from her crew, some information for their next mission. She could already feel the tension starting in her shoulders. She sighed and turned it off. Ryder left the bridge, spotting Jaal downstairs going into the kitchen as she approached the ladder. As much as she enjoyed herself last night, she still felt acutely the sting of disappointment in Jaal's lack of interest in her. She was determined to walk past the kitchen, but couldn't help herself, and followed him in.

"Hey, Jaal. You're back early."

He shook his head, "Never left."

She looked down, "Oh, right." Of course, Peebee's here. She got herself a cup of coffee someone had made that morning and held the cup in her hand, watching Jaal take spoonful after spoonful of nutrient paste in his mouth. He looked over at her, "You were out on Kadara all night, did you enjoy yourself?"

She nodded.

"That is good, but you need to be safe. The planet is full of mercenaries, scum and criminals."

"Are you offering to be my body guard?" she teased.

"I can if you want me to."

She raised her eyebrows, "Oh, really?" she chuckled. She sipped at her coffee. "I'm sure you have better things to do with other people."

"Actually, no."

She studied his face. She wasn't sure what he meant. "Well, I'd enjoy your company anytime. Really." She said softly, and took a few more sips of her coffee.

"You know, Ryder-" Jaal started, and stopped when the door opened and Liam came in.

"Morning, all," he said cheerily, a sloppy grin on his face.

Ryder nodded, and took her coffee out and back to her quarters. That morning they left Kadara, back to business on the Nexus. As she walked around the station, she had flashbacks to the night before, the feel of Kalen's leathery skin, his hot wet licks on her neck, the delicious feel of him filling her inside. She shivered.

"Pathfinder, good to see you."

She turned to see Kandros walking to his office.

She smiled, "I was just coming to see you."

"Good. I wanted to talk to you about our strike teams," he started.

As he talked, she analyzed his face. _I wish he was single, and interested_. She thought. She'd found out pretty quickly he was already with someone here on the Nexus. Shame, she found him very appealing. Always liked a military man.

"-and that gives you authorization for our APEX teams."

She nodded. She heard a Turian voice behind her.

"Is this the Pathfinder?"

She turned towards the voice. Kandros answered, "Ryder, this is Officer Varek. He helps coordinate the APEX teams and keep communications open."

She shook the Turian's hand, "Good to meet you."

"Likewise," he stood at attention. He was tall, but a slight build. Red markings on his face outlined his jaw. "If you need any assistance using the console, I'm here to help."

"Thank you," she turned to Kandros, "I'll dispatch your people carefully."

"I appreciate that, Ryder. But trust me, APEX can handle themselves."

She nodded and left, wanting to get more input from Jaal before deciding which missions took priority. She sighed as she walked back to the tram. Everytime she saw a Turian, she realized she was hoping she would run into Kalen, then feeling afraid she actually would see him. She shook her head, she couldn't start worrying about that. On the tram her omni-tool lit up and she pulled up a message from Kalen.

 _"Still at work. Sorry I had to leave early last night. I had a great time, and would like to meet with you again."_

She grinned, writing back, "I understand when duty calls. Looking forward to the next time." She turned it off and waited at the tram door. Back on the Tempest, she sought out Jaal to consult at the panel for the APEX strike team dispatch.

"It's between these two," he pointed. "Either mission would be a good choice with the greatest chance of success and making the most impact."

"I'll choose this one. It has the least amount of risk." She sent the message.

"Hm, agreed. Excellent choice." He turned and looked at her. "You are an skilled tactician, Ryder."

"Oh, well, thank you Jaal. I couldn't do it without your input."

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit."

"Maybe." She leaned against the round console. "I'm still figuring all this out, you know? I don't have the training my dad did, that puts me at a disadvantage."

"Perhaps. Do you believe your father would have made better choices?"

She pondered that for a moment, "You know, I don't think I ever thought of it that way. I'm not sure. He was more cautious about trusting other people, relying on them. I don't think he would have formed an alliance so quickly." She grunted, "He certainly wouldn't have allowed you on board."

"Indeed. Then yet another reason I'm glad you are here. I mean-" he realized how that sounded, "Not that I wish your father dead, of course."

She waved her hand, "I know what you mean. And - thanks for the vote of confidence. I appreciate that."

"Of course, Ryder, it is well-earned." He tilted his head slightly and watched as she walked away. Every time he talked to her, she impressed him more, and yet was so humble and good-natured. He found her intriguing.

The next few days were a series of grueling and frustrating missions. Ryder vacillated between feeling like she was on a wild goose chase and a personal assistant to everyone who had something that needed to be done, that somehow only she could do. More than anything, it was mentally draining. Late at night, she was trying to unwind in her quarters. She put her playlist on, got a plate of the contraband popcorn Vetra got for her, and plopped down on her couch with a drink. She leaned her head back, willing the tension in her neck to dissipate. She looked out on the expanse of space the glass windows allowed her to contemplate. It was stunning, and intimidating. She tried to shut out the voices of doubt in her head. Her instructors at the academy, her haters in school, her Dad. He'd been so tough on her. On one hand, she knew he had been pushing her to be better, to be great, but he could have tempered that with kindness and compassion. She sighed and shook her head. It was still unbelievable he was dead. She thought about what Jaal had said, about what her Dad's decisions would have been. Would he have done a better job? Maybe, but maybe not. She knew for a fact he was so human first he was one step away from Cerberus. He would have made them forge out on their own, leaving the Angara on their own to fight the Kett. He probably would have made a limited agreement with them, but never would have entrusted them so much, so quickly. And that has been the root of her success. She smiled. She felt a shift in trusting her own judgement.

She ate and sat for a while more until she heard a ping at the door.

"Sam?"

 _"Jaal is at the door, Pathfinder."_

She brushed crumbs off her lap, "Let him in."

The doors wooshed open, and he strode in purposefully. She felt a little jolt in her stomach at the sight of him. "Hi, come in and have a seat." She gestured across from her. He instead sat next to her on the couch. He pointed at the popcorn, "What is that?"

"Oh, that's popcorn. An Earth snack. Not my favorite, but it reminds me of home. Vetra gave me some. Help yourself."

He frowned and picked a kernel up, examining it. He sniffed it, then looked at it again.

She laughed, "It won't bite. It's a type of vegetable, we heat it up, and it pops up like that. It's pretty bland, actually. I put some salt on it." She ate one.

He licked a tiny piece of it, then looking up at her smirk, put the whole thing in his mouth and started crunching.

"Well?" she asked.

"I like it. It is different, but not unpleasant."

"Ha," she threw a piece up and caught it in her mouth, "I suppose you describe me the same way."

He ate another piece and looked at her thoughtfully, "No, not at all."

"So, what brings you to my quarters tonight?" she blushed, her mind racing with that thought.

He sighed and sat back on the couch. "I feel I need to make somethings clear with you."

She sat up straighter, "Oh?"

"Not as serious as that sounds. I just – I know I haven't been forthcoming with information on the Roekaar. It's complicated."

"Isn't it always?"

"Yes, it does seem to be that way." He went on the give her a more detailed history of the Roekaar and his relationship with Akksul and the Moshae. She listened intently, fascinated by this more complex side of him, and the impact of the information he was giving her. Jaal looked concerned, "I feel he is escalating, particularly now that I am a part of your crew. I admit, I am fearful of his next move."

She nodded, "It's not only his political agenda, but his personal grudge against you."

"Yes." Jaal nodded.

"I want you to know that we are together in this, that – " she let out a frustrated grunt, trying to find the right words, "that I prioritize what the Angara need as much as what we need, and not just for what we can get out of it." She put her hand on his arm, "We are a team now, and I am invested in what happens to you – what happens to your people."

He leaned his head to the side and studied her face. He felt the pure sincerity in her words. "I am humbled by your commitment and sacrifice." He put his hand over hers.

She drew in a small breath when he did that. She couldn't help but wish it meant more, but tried to push it out of her mind. "I mean it."

"I know, and that is what makes you so unique. There was something different about you when I first met you, and I am realizing that more and more as I get to know you. It is truly a gift to call you my friend."

She couldn't help but look down sharply with a grim smile. _Friendzoned_. She pulled her hand out from his, "I feel the same, Jaal."

The next morning she got up late and after a quick breakfast went up to the bridge. Kallo and Suvi gave her a sit-rep, and she met with Cora in her quarters.

"Morning, Ma'am. Here's a list of outstanding missions, and I attempted to put some level of priority by them. However, your opinion may differ."

Ryder sat down, breathing in the earthy humidity the plants in her room put out. She glanced at the datapad.

Cora read her mind, "It's all a bit overwhelming, huh?"

Ryder nodded and rubbed her eyes.

"How's Scott doing?" Cora anticipated what she might be concerned about.

"No change. I need go by and check on him soon. Maybe next week, even if there's still nothing new."

"Yeah."

Ryder's omni-tool lit up and she pulled up a message. She was surprised to see it was encrypted, from Kalen. She jumped up and said, "I need to respond to this. I'll catch up with you later."

Cora nodded and watched as she left. The smile faded from her face as she picked up the datapad Ryder left behind. She'd worked for an hour last night on that list, agonized over every detail, the order of priority. She'd attempted to balance her ideas of importance with what she imagined Ryder's to be. She put it back down and picked up her Asari book of meditations from her desk and opened it to the chapter on self-assuredness. She should have it memorized by now, considering how much she re-read it almost daily when she was a commando.

Ryder hurried down to her quarters, barely letting the door close behind her before starting the corneal scan to open the message.

 _"Will be in Kadara Port for the next few days. Any chance you will be able to meet? – Kalen."_

She looked around for the datapad of missions. "Damn, I must have left it in Cora's quarters." She remembered though, there had been at least a few on Kadara, and nothing more pressing on other worlds. She sent him a message back that she would be. He answered her right away.

 _"Great. Let's set something up."_

She smiled. "Definitely," she responded back. She walked towards her door, when her omni-tool pinged again with a message from him.

 _"Wondering if you'd be interested in a threesome."_

She stopped short. She hesitated for a second. Honestly she didn't know him that well. What exactly did he have in mind? She must have waited too long, because he sent her a second message.

 _"If you're not, that's okay. I would enjoy having you all to myself as well."_

She messaged him back, "Intrigued, have never done that, but not saying no."

 _"Me, you and an Angaran male."_

She raised her eyebrows. Now this was appealing. "Really?"

 _"Yes. Experienced with humans, trusted and I guarantee you will enjoy yourself. You're in charge – we'll stick with what you're comfortable with."_

She smiled, she appreciated how gentlemanly he was. That Turian military training and respect. That's what she liked. Her fingers flew before she could question herself, "Have some work to do today, would tonight be too soon?"

 _"No, we could meet you tonight. I'll send you the time stamp and we'll see you then. Looking forward to it."_

"Me too." She snapped off her omni-tool and made her way to Cora's quarters to get a look at that mission list.


End file.
